Techno-writers block...

Feb 16, 2013

Thanks to Apple I have another reason not to work on my novel.  Not that I am complaining...much.  But the new iPad mini is just too cute.  I have to play with it, which in OCD-speak means, open the package carefully, (you don't just rip the box open), fold the plastic slip it came in (because the garbage men like it when I'm neat with my trash), find a nice location for the box it came in (because sometimes the box is worth more than you'd think), let it charge (fully), transfer the cellular account, charge the blutooth keyboard, make sure everything is just perfect then...put it away, cuz I need to be writing.  

I frequently read a blog called bitches gotta eat.  The hilarious Samantha Irby was brought to my attention at the 2012 Chicago Writers Conference and in a recent post, she talks about how she never makes new years resolutions because she doesn't like being mocked two weeks after she writes them down.  Agreed!  The one that hit home the most was #5 - "spend less money. this is a joke. if apple would stop making gadgets i desperately need...then "saving money" might be a thing i could actually accomplish."  Amen sister!

I feel an affinity with two other resolutions she said are deemed to fail:  eat healthier and get in shape.  But I will tell you, there's nothing like a trip to the ER because you are having chest pains at 42 years old to scare the living hell out of you and make you want to slap yourself for every stupid food choice you've ever made since you were five years old.  Damn the bags of tostitos I ate while watching the Beatles cartoons!

I have spent the better part of the last week since that ER visit reflecting on my life choices in general and the big blazing fear of dying young from heart attack, stroke or a blood clot if I don't stop this stupid shit and get serious.  Even though the results of all the tests came back relatively fine (got a little high blood pressure, which I didn't even find out in the ER, it was at the allergist appointment), yet I still lay in bed at night wondering if maybe they missed something.

I have never been a healthy eater but I can organize the hell out of a diet plan.  Get myself a notebook, an app, buy the salad crap, the lean cuisines, the chicken, etc.  I follow it religiously for a few weeks then miss the stuff I've given up and binge like crazy.  Because "tomorrow is another day"...yeah, well there is no tomorrow if you just keep pushing off the big red flag waving in your face that bitch you eat bad and gotta move your ass.

The hardest part will be moving.  With bone spurs in my feet, a herniated disk in my neck (see previous posts, it's so very boring), and an inclination to sit...a lot...I am getting to the point where I am thinking a health club membership just might get our butts in gear.  We really have no excuses.  Except that it will just take away from writing, catching up on Mad Men, spending time with the puppies, and sleep.  But then I guess if I'm dead, I won't be around to do any of that stuff anyways.  So maybe it takes a little longer to finish the book, finish the current season, and we pick our battles with the sleep and the dogs.  

So it begins...off to walk the dogs.  Two birds, one stone!

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