Don Jon - a romantic movie about the love of porn - November 12, 2013

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Forget Gravity, and Captain Tom Hanks whatever-its-called.  Forget Bat-fleck and Timberlake in Runner Runner (perhaps the worst titled movie of late).  For sure, forget Riddick, I saw it and won't even waste my time reviewing it.

Go see Don Jon.

Joseph Gordon-Levitt (of Inception, 500 Days of Summer, Looper and 3rd Rock from the Sun) wrote and directed this great, indie movie with his new company called hitRECord.   Let me take a moment to say dammmmmmmmn he looks good in this movie.  I remember seeing him on SNL in 2009 and thinking "who's this guy" - he sings, he danced, he's funny.  JGL is great in this movie and I look forward to his future projects.

The movie follows New Jersey boy Jon.  He could have been on MTV's Jersey Shore based on his personality.  He's cocky, muscular, and goes clubbing every night with his boys, rating the ladies and taking home a different one every night.  He is devoted to his family (which consists of Tony Danza, Glenne Headly and the fantastic Brie Larson who speaks volumes by barely saying a word throughout most of the movie).

Despite his douchebag exterior, Jon is very honest about one thing.  He loves his porn.  

It can't compete with any of the women he takes home, because the women he takes home are all the same.  They can't fill his needs like the videos - he has a much better relationship with his laptop than any of the bimbos he nails.

Then he meets Barbara - here's where I admit Scarlett Johansson isn't the most terrible actress in the world, which is a big step for me.  Yes, guys, she's hot...from the neck down.  She still looks like a fish and her voice sounds like a cruise ship horn that needs repair or a donkey.  But she's believable as a woman set on making Jon into the man she wants.  She wants a real relationship like the rom-coms she watches, so she refuses to have sex with him until it's meaningful.  She talks him into going to night school so he can get a better job and make more money.  She inserts herself into his family, takes him to meet hers.  Overall, it looks like she has good intentions.  She's going to make him a better man.  But...he has to give up watching porn.

Barbara is disgusted by his addiction to porn and doesn't believe men watch it unless they have a problem.  She even considers breaking up with him.  Jon is so in love, he vows not to watch it anymore.  However, asking him to give up porn is like asking him to give up breathing.  It's not really an option.

Here's the part where I say that I think it's important for men and women to watch porn, and any woman who forbids her man to give it up is an idiot.  You're clueless to what men like and want and guess what, honey?  It's got nothing to do with you.  And you shouldn't take it personally.  Is it any different when you swoon over some hot guy on your weekly dramatic series?  When Barbara asks Jon to give up porn, I leaned into my hubby and reminded him how lucky he was...and he agreed. 

While Jon is struggling to keep this relationship afloat, and becoming the man Barbara wants him to be, he meets Esther (played by Julianne Moore).  She becomes a pivotal female in his life when Barbara has her melt down that we all know is coming (no pun intended).

We walked out, laughing with that good feeling you get when you see a rom-com.  You cheer on the unorthodox hero because he's probably more real than you care to admit.

If anything, go see the movie for Tony Danza, I'd like to see him make a comeback.  He's awesome as the typical roided-out Jersey dad who does everything but slap Scar-Jo's ass.

And if not, go watch some porn with your significant other.  It's healthy, it's good for ya. 

 

5 out of 5 (porn) stars

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