movie reviews

The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey - March 25, 2013​

The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey

The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey

There's one thing I know about the movie "The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey" - I will never live down the fact we didn't see it in the theater.  Or in 3D.  Or in high frame rate.  This is something my husband will forever remind me.  

I remind him I would have barfed in my seat.

Even watching the high-def version on our 52-inch screen, I found a few parts made my tummy a little rumbly.  There were a lot of "money shots" where I could see the theater would have made for an exciting, albeit queasy, experience.  And at almost 3 hours, I knew I would need at least two bio-breaks, and I hate missing any scene in a movie, no matter how miniscule.

Now, I love the LOTR trilogy.  We bought the original movies last year on Blu-ray and watched them in succession for three Fridays in a row.  The biggest draw for me, however, wasn't the furry-footed Frodo.  Meh.  Him and his whiney friend and the two dudes that rode the trees.  You can have that part of the story.  It's Aragorn, played by Viggo Mortensen, that held my interest (if you know what I mean).  

So going into Hobbit, I knew there would be no Aragorn, and there would be a lot of set up and a lot of walking.  Oh, the walking!  Could I sit through almost 3 hours of set-up for some huge battle I may not see for another two years?  Within the first 20 minutes, it was apparent:  Yes - I would be able to handle 169 minutes, thanks to one hot dwarf.

That's right - I said dwarf.  No, actually, I said hot dwarf.

Richard Armitage

Richard Armitage

Richard Armitage, who seemed to sneak by me in movies such as Captain America, as exiled King of the Dwarfs Thorin Oakenshield, saved me.  Even with his long hair and beard, I could tell underneath was one, hot Englishman.  And I have to admit, his character's story was great.  But yeah, about him being hot.

Toward the end of the movie, I turned to my hubby and asked, "So, we won't get to see (important plot point) before this is over, will we?"  He shook his head.  He knew why I asked.  See, I had learned the hard way with the first LOTR movie.  It got to the end and then, boom, cliffhanger.  Wait?  What?  There's more?  They weren't gonna pull a fast one on me this time. 

I did enjoy The Hobbit.  And don't worry, if you didn't see it in the theater, in 3D, in HFR, and you only have your HD or Blu-ray or SD option at home, it'll be okay.  Everything's gonna be just fine.  Fine like Richard Armitage.


Other movies I endorse based solely on the one hot actor:

Catch and Release with Timothy Olyphant (yeah yeah, I watch Justified, but here he is super hot and super cool)

A History of Violence with Viggo Mortensen (I really wanted to say Eastern Promises based on the men's room scene alone, but AHOV he looks much more, um, yummy.

Moulin Rouge with Ewan McGregor (and he sings!)

Inception with Cillian Murphy, Leonardo Dicaprio, Tom Hardy (a virtual smorgasbord)

Kelly DuffComment